Trust
by GraeLeigh3
Summary: Set in season 3, post Neverland no Pan-curse ... Regina and Emma wake up after a night together but with the morning comes some realisation and discussion ... SwanQueen (don't like, don't read :p)
1. Chapter 1

This is my first OUAT ... and I hope there are not too much mistakes and such.  
Still not native english thus all grammar mistakes are mine (will get this beta readed once it's complete).  
I'm pretty eager to know if it's worth going on or not. Don't hesitate to read and review please :)

Set somewhere in season 3, it started at a fluffy fic of 3 pages which turned up in a hurt/comfort monster.  
SQ all the way, so if you don't like, don't read :p

**CHAPTER 1**

She resisted the urge to open her eyes, letting her body enjoy the sensation. She felt a strong arm sneak behind her back, grounding her.

She couldn't help the smile that crept to her lips when a soft kiss pecked her forehead.

In that moment, she felt safe. For the first time in decades, she felt cared for. And the feeling wasn't unpleasant, far from it.

- "Love is weakness", echoed her mother's voice in her head.

How wrong had she been to actually believe this.

Lo… she stopped herself from saying it, even in her head, whatever she was feeling now was heaven and she couldn't let Cora ruin it.

When a chaste kiss landed on her nose, she giggled, finally gazing up to Emma's smiling face. The blonde was eyeing her closely, an amused smile illuminating her features.

Freeing a hand from Emma's safe cuddling; she pushed a errand stray of blond hair back behind her ear, letting her fingers graze along her cheekbone before tracing her bottom lips.

The skin was soft, warm and her lips so inviting. She didn't resist and craned her head to claim a tender kiss, Emma meeting her halfway.

The kiss lasted only an instant but it was perfect: not demanding, not pressuring. Just the perfect conclusion to the night they shared.

Flashes brought memories of the last few hours and Regina Mills felt herself blush lightly at the memories.

Once they parted, she closed her eyes again and lowered her head back on the pillow.

Seconds later, she felt Emma shift around, laying alongside her and holding her close, her side to her front, arms snaked loosely around her waist, her right hand grabbed Regina's left one and rested lightly over her belly.

The smile never leaving her lips, Regina Mills tucked her face in the welcoming, and oh so soft, neck.

She sighed with contentment, enjoying the closeness of Emma's naked body.

Minutes later, a sentiment of guilt invaded her senses. She was acting selfish here. No doubt Emma needed her to … release some of her steam.

Although she confessed wanting to make love to her, no doubt the blond needed some much needed release.

Not wishing to break their contact, she used her free hand that was trapped between them to circle Emma's slim waist and rest on her hipbone, tugging her forward.

But she didn't expect the younger woman to resist the pull.

When she spoke, it was a soft whisper that, given their closeness, echoed deliciously through her body.

- "Hu hu Regina, you stay put"  
- "But I'm sure you must be …", she started but was interrupted by Emma's light giggle.  
- "I'm good honey"  
- "But you … I mean you … must …", she didn't need to finish her sentence, Emma did for her  
- "Horny?", she giggled again.

Regina nodded, wondering a second if Emma was making fun of her (insecurity and paranoia have been her close companions for years, it was difficult to cut them off overnight) . But the annoying thought was pushed aside when Emma elaborated.

- "Let's say that watching your release helped mine", she added softly "So I'm good", she assured her, giving her hand a squeeze.

Not for the first time in the last 24 hours, Regina Mills was rendered speechless. She wasn't used to such care, especially not in intimate moments.

Sure she had men coming into her bed, more than she cared to count, but none of them have ever put her pleasure first. Neither Graham nor Leopold … especially not Leopold.

When the face of her former husband materialized behind her closed eyelids, she couldn't suppress the shiver than crept up her spine, chilling every bone in her body.

Suppressing a whimper, she buried her face deeper in Emma's neck, wishing for their closeness to restore her warmth. Cursing her photographic memory, she immediately felt Emma's movement and feared she had ruined everything.

Until she felt her gather in her arms, crushing her to her chest, holding her so tight Regina feared she might not be able to breathe again.

- "Let it out", it took these three little words to open the valves. For years of abuse to come crashing over her.

But Emma didn't pull away, far from it as she tightened her hold even more.

It felt like hours to Regina, hours of whimpers, tears and muffled cries. Hours of releasing all this pain and the frustration. Relive those years of sleepless nights after Leopold had departed her bed, leaving her crying and helpless.

Little by little, as she felt she had no tears left in her body, she came back to her senses and realized she wasn't alone: Emma's hand drawing patterns over her back and she was whispering comforting words over and over again.

Regina sniffled in a very non regal way, wishing for her breakdown to be over. What will Emma think of her if she dissolved into a tearing wreck whenever they made love?

- "It's ok Regina, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere", she heard her say, like she was responding to her inner struggle.

Despite the general feeling of unease that was overtaking her, Regina Mills smiled and did the only thing she knew she was capable of right at this moment.

- "Thank you", she whispered in Emma's neck, realizing with a pang of guilt that the soft skin was wet from her outburst.  
- "Anytime sweetheart", Emma added softly, giving a peck on the top of her head.

Regina smiled, despite the pain that crushed her heart; she was surprised at how easily Emma was touching her, giving her sweet names.

It was weird and yet not so surprising given their history: both as individuals and as acquaintances. She shouldn't be surprised. Maybe a year ago all this would have been different but Emma Swan had changed a lot since her arrival in Storybrooke.

Discovering that she was the daughter of the fairy tales characters read to her when she was a little girl must have helped her grow.

Not that she was childish when she first showed up at her doorstep, far from it. But now she had seen a lot, battled evil forces that threatened her biological son's safety.

And Regina knew from experience that there was nothing she wouldn't do to protect Henry.

So ... should I go on or not ... ? You say :p


	2. Chapter 2

Wow thank you so much for the review, follow, read, favorite, that means a lot and help my muse.  
This one is shorter than the previous one but the next will be longer.  
Hope you're still with me on this ...

ETA: thanks to AlexandriaVE for pointing out the typos in this chapter :)

**CHAPTER 2  
**

For a long time, she didn't dare to move, afraid that any movement would make the brunette bolt off the bed.  
So she just laid there, her hands rubbing up and down Regina's back, trying to comfort her as best as she could.  
She had no idea what made her break down like this. For all she knew, they were bathing in the afterglow from an incredible night of lovemaking, sharing and enjoying the other's closeness.

What memories could have it brought back. She knew Regina's life hadn't been easy. Her mother made terrible things to ensure she'd gain a social position. Starting by endangering a little girl's life and later kill her daughter's lover.

Sure growing up with such an example had left marks in Regina's psyche; she too murdered and caused lots of pain. But in the year she had known, her, she's seen her change.  
Sure, it didn't happen overnight and when she first met her, she threatened her. But it was because she cared about Henry immensely. The little boy she raised for eleven years before he came and found her.

A boy they would both die for.

Little by little, she felt Regina relax in her arms, her face was still buried in her neck but she had loosened her deadly grip around her waist.

- "I'm sorry", she heard her breath against her skin.  
- "It's ok Regina. Don't worry", she reassured her, not knowing how to let her know there was nothing wrong.  
- "No it's not", Regina went on, her tone harsh, her voice rough from the tears she had shed.

When Regina's hands came to rest on her shoulder and give a gentle push, she laid back and their eyes met in the room's semi darkness.

Emma interrupted her with a finger over her lips.  
- "Regina, hear me out. This doesn't make you less, ok? You're human and I'm glad you trust me enough to let your guard down like this when I'm around".

Giving the darkness still bathing the room, she had to trust her gut on this since she wasn't able to see Regina's caramel eyes.

- "It was hardly a choice of mine", Regina argued bitterly, taking her off guard.  
- "Still, I won't see you any differently. And know that whatever you feel, I'm here to listen", she assured her with a soft smile.

When Regina didn't respond, she went on:  
– "And I'm not just saying it because of this mind blowing night we shared Regina. I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. This", she gestured between them, "might be new but I'm in it for the long haul Regina".

Listening to Emma brought fresh tears in Regina's eyes. She blinked rapidly to keep them at bay, not trusting to ruin the moment even more.

She was touched by Emma's words, not only because she knew she meant every single one but because she'd longed someone to whisper them to her.  
Daniel had been the closest but they were young and naive. They never consummated their love because of Cora's actions.  
Then she was married to Kind Leopold and for ten years, she had to live in the shadows of his deceased wife.

-"I ...", she started, not sure of what she was about to say.

Cocking her head, suddenly shy, she went on:  
-"I don't know how to do any of this Emma. I've a destructive history with those I care about. I'm not good at any of this", she breathed, wishing she'd crawl under a rock and never be found again.  
-"Neither am I, Regina … neither am I", Emma assured her, before going on: "But I want this to work. I want to wake up next to you every morning, bring you breakfast in bed on Sundays and hear about your day when we come home at night".  
-"Pretty domestic", Regina joked although she beamed at what Emma described. She longed for this too.

As surprising as it sounded, she believed the blonde's words. Even thought a voice inside her head kept whispering that this was madness, that Emma was Snow White and Charming's daughter, that everything was against them, she believed.

Oh she wasn't naive enough to believe a happy ending. No, not at all. She knew it was not hers and she hated herself for using Emma to heal her troubled soul. She knew that pretty soon, too soon, the young woman will come to her senses and kick her out of her life, out of her bed.

She'll never get a happy ending because she didn't deserve one. All she did those past decades was meant to hurt, to make sure everyone around her was sad and unhappy as she was.

She saw it clearly now. She didn't create Strorybrooke so she'd at least win. No. She created the city and deported everyone here so she'd have some sort of power.

At first, it was enough. But it was until she realized all her 'citizens' were acting the way they did because the dark curse forced them to … not because they feared her. They were just puppets. And she was too, prisoner of her own curse.

Until Henry went along and filled a hole inside her.

_So ... I love every single review ... :)_


	3. Chapter 3

You know, each review, follow, read, favorite, makes my day.  
Another short chapter but I'm a slow builder :p  
Hope you still like this little SQ fic ...

**CHAPTER 3  
**

With a sight, she rose from the bed, Emma completly forgotten. The young woman followed her with a questioning gaze plastered over her face.

For a moment, she just stood by the window overlooking the apple tree, reminding Emma of an antic statue. She was as rigid as those were and as naked too.  
Althought it was warm in the room, she doubted the woman was even aware of her actions.

Emma debated of what'd do: leave her alone? Whistle? Cough? Neither seemed appropriate.  
As she pondered her next move, she let her eyes roam over Regina's perfect body, from her head set hight to perfectly manucured hands resting over her hips.

She was clearly lost in her own little world, the reality around her completly forgotten.  
Emma wondered what had trigered this whithdrawal, whad made Regina disappear and the Evil Queen make her appearance. Because from there she was sitting, she sure as hell knew it was Regina the Queen standing there, not the Major.  
And she was more acquainted with Regina that she was with the Queen.

When Regina's breaths turned laboured, Emma started to worry, sitting straight in bed. They might not have talked boundaries and commitments but she'll be damned if she left her suffer alone.  
When the first hiccup reached her ears in the silence of the room and Regina's back hunched, Emma jumped on her feet and reached the brunette in two short strides. Grabbing her robe from the back of the bedroom door, she drapped it accross the shaking shoulders.

Regina resisted her, trying to shoulder out of her embrance but Emma held tight, an irepressible need to protect her coursing though her body.  
Not a second crossed it her mind that she was up against the Evil Queen herself who could turn her to ashes if it pleased her.  
Nope, it didn't cross her mind. Maybe because she acted on instinct rather than on rational thoughts.

She had heard what Regina had done out of pain, she was pretty sure she hadn't heard everything. Did she wish to? Only if it helped the brunette on her path to stand herself. Accepting and forgiving herself were at the end of a very long road but she trusted she'd get there eventually.  
Not today, maybe not in the coming days or weeks, but Emma knew she was on the right path.  
She had to believe that because without this, what had she left?

Sure she had Henry but their relationship was a little strained at the moment, the young boy having difficulties to forgive her lies.  
It was one thing to read stories in books, it was something else to know the were true. That the woman who raised him was the Evil Queeen … the woman responsible of all sorrow in the Fairy Tales.

She knew he'd eventually comme around but she had no ideas how long it'd take. And from Regina's point of view, she had nothing left: her job was now Snow's, her son was living with his biological mother and most of the city still mused deadly thoughts towards her.

Emma felt for the woman. Sure she was responsible for some of her own pain, but her parents were too. They all made choices at some point that had great and devastating consequences. It'll take time to somehow make a life for all of them and it wouldn't happen overnight.

Beneath her hands which were still resting over Regina's shaking shoulders, Emma didn't feel her sorrow lessen in any way.  
Gauging rapidly the situation, she decided that enceasing her in a bear hug might send her flying accross the room, and she just wasn't ready for it.

So she decided to make sure Regina knew she was here, next to her, willing to help.

A hand still resting over a muscular shoulder, she draper her left arm over Regina's mid section, not tight enough for the older woman to feel trapped but strongly enough so she felt her presence though the turmoil clouding her mind.

For long moments, she felt no change in Regina's posture. Then muffled whimpers joined the tears.  
At first, she didn't get their meaning but once she laid her chin on Regina's shoulder, she made them out, and what she heard broke her heart.  
-"Please go … I can't … please … go … I ….", it was a littany of pleas. Regina was pleading her, asked her to leave now. Over and over again, like a mantra.

But although Emma Swan had had enough of The Savior thing that had been thrown in her face ever since Henry found her, leaving Regina's side wasn't an option. Because she knew with blazing certaincy that if she granted her this, that'd be her undoing.  
Not only Regina's, but hers as well. Because the darkness threatening Regina's sanity would swallow her and she wouldn't fight back.  
With nothing left in her life, she wouldn't fight them.

_So ... what do you think? :)_


	4. Chapter 4

Let's see what you think of this new chapter ... let's make those ladies talk a little more, shall we? *evil grin*  
Don't hesitate to review/follow, I love every single email alert.

Ohh and I have an other OUAT fic in progress, post 3x11, whose first chapter might pop up over the week-end if I find time to type and courage to post :p

**CHAPTER 4  
**

Far from granting Regina her wish, Emma stood her ground.  
Tightening her hold around her slim waist just enough so she'd feel it without feeling restrained, she moved her mouth closer to Regina and whispered reassuring words over and over again.

For an outsider, the picture they offered would seem odd, each caught in their own mantra: Regina begging Emma to leave and Emma begging Regina to come back to her.  
Two women naked in a room where they just shared an entire night or passion.

She didn't know how long it lasted before little by little, her voice prevailed over Regina's. Her own voice sounded hoarse and screechy to her ears signaling that it might have taken some times to break trough Regina's walls.

When Regina fell silent, she kept going on, making sure whatever comforting words she was giving her were fully understood, and hopefully, sank in.

She had long lost track of time when Regina turned and faced her. But she refused to meet her eyes, keeping her face stubbornly down.  
Taking it as the improvement it was, Emma reached up with both hands and cupped her face. She didn't push her to look up, just wiped her damp cheeks with her thumbs.

She smiled when Regina sniffed loudly, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.  
She was quick to retrieve a couple tissues from the box sitting on the nightstand.  
As she handed them to Regina, she found it quite amusing that the former Queen turned around to blow her nose and wipe her cheeks.  
Was she trying to save some kind of regal appearance?  
She told her just yesterday that she didn't care if she were a fallen Queen, Evil or otherwise, or Storybrooke former Major. She was just interested in Regina, the woman behind the cold façade.

When caramel eyes rose to meet green's, Emma Swan, couldn't help but gasp at the pain and insecurity laying there for her to see.  
But the most frightening emotion displayed in their depth was surely the fear. Regina tried to hide behind a tight smile but Emma didn't buy it a second. The woman was afraid and it was written all over her face.

-"What are you so afraid of Regina? I'm not going to hurt you", Emma whispered, trying to reassure her.  
-"But I will', Regina answered sadly.  
-"No you won't'.  
-"How can you be so sure Miss Swan?"

Emma chose not to address the use of her name, for the time being at least.

-"What are a poisoned pastry, a dragon, Ogres or a deadly curse when everyone says you're the all mighty Savior?', she joked but her joke fell flat.  
-"My point exactly", Regina went on with a sad smile. "I'm the Evil Queen and always will be".  
-"Former Queen, Regina, You're not in the Enchanted Forest anymore. Whatever happened there doesn't belong here".  
-"I've condemned you to years of loneliness, of pain; and I hurt you in this realm".  
-"And what would it change to keep beating yourself over and over again? You've changed Regina", she held her gaze as she grabbed both hands in hers "You might not see it, or the inhabitants of the city but I do. You're nothing like the woman you used to be. That … person … is dead".  
-"If only it were true", Regina replied vehemently.  
-"What's that supposed to mean?", Emma questioned her, refusing to release her hands.

Taking a big breath, Regina went on:

-"Wouldn't it be best for everyone if I were gone for good?"  
-"You suicidal now?"  
-"Maybe', she pushed.  
-"Regina, don't say things like these. What about your son?"  
-"_Your_ son", Regina spat back.  
-"_Our_ son. I might be his biological mother but I gave him up for adoption just the same".  
-"To give him better chances", Regina added "All I did was snatch him up to fill some hole in my heart".  
-"Well then that's the case for most adoptive parents".  
-"You don't understand Emma", she was getting frustrated by Emma's inability to see her as who she really was.  
-"Then explain to me, Regina. Please. I don't see the monster you obviously see in yourself. For ten years, you took care of Henry, loved him like your son".  
-"But he never was and never will be, right?", she accused.  
-"Regina … Henry is only a boy, but he's very intelligent, you know he just needs some time to ..."  
-"To what? Hate me completely like everyone else in this town?", she yelled in Emma's face, fresh tears running down her cheeks.

She wiped them furiously, clearly infuriated by Emma's inability to understand and her own emotional state.

-"That's enough Regina!", Emma yelled back as equally, hoping it'd make Regina snap out of the self pity state.

But when the former major's hand connected with her cheek, she knew she had done it the wrong way.  
Regina's life had always been fueled with sorrow and pain and yelling back at her only shoved it back in her face.

There was other path to travel and she vowed to prove it to Regina, whose hand was ready to strike again.

-"Fine, hit me all you want but it won't change the way I see you", when Regina didn't respond, she pushed her advantage, her face inches from Regina's, invading her personal space some more. "You're not a monster Regina. Sure you did terrible things but that was 30 years ago for God's sake!"  
-"I'm a monster Emma! I'm Regina Mills! I'm the Evil Queen! I ..."  
-"Fine! You want me to say it? You killed dozens of people, cursed a whole land because they rejected you. You brought sorrow and destruction to innocent people who didn't deserve your hatred.  
I get it Regina! Damn it, living in the past won't erase it all! You can't bring back the lives you took, nor can you erase the past 28 years!  
But there is one thing you can do and have done for the past year: you can redeem yourself Regina.  
Prove to everyone that you are not her anymore. Show yourself, not Cora's daughter.  
I'm not saying it'll be easy, we both know it won't. But if this outburst is your way of dealing with the fear and pain you feel inside, don't expect me to stand by and watch it destroy you", she went on, her voice lowering as she spoke.

She had Regina's attention now, she'd rather not enrage her any further:

-"What … what if you … they … don't want to see?", she asked in a scared voice.

Her voice sounded childish, just like her behavior. Coming from a thirty something, it might look cute and endearing but given that the woman standing before her was closer to her sixties, she found it scary.

What was even more scary was her lapses which wasn't lost to her. For all they lived together this past year and these last 24 hours, Regina still didn't see her in her corner.

How she could have allowed her in her bed didn't make any sense. Again, she reminded herself that it was Regina she was talking to, and she was quite a handful when it came to deal with her emotions. No one ever taught her how to deal with them in a rational and non excessive way and Cora's last visit didn't really help.

Regina's eyes were fixed on her with such a lost look that she fought back the urge to engulf her in her arms and protect her from the world.  
From the world outside which wanted nothing more than see her fail.  
But she couldn't let that happen. Not as much as The Savior, but as a woman who cared deeply for her son's mother.  
Whatever there was between them would be sorted out later. But this, this hatred Regina felt towards herself had to be diffused. And quickly or it might end up badly.

_So ... what daya say? ... :)_


	5. Chapter 5

New chapter in this fic, I must admit if I love seeing the hits it gets and the followers but I'm very worried with the lack of reviews ... *sigh*  
Anyway here is chapter 5, let's see if you like it.

As for the other OUAT fic I've, well it'll have to wait before being posted to see how this one goes. OUAT 3B starts this week-end, yessss!

**CHAPTER 5  
**

Emma Swan didn't like the situation she was currently in, it was uneasy and she had no idea as how to sort it out.  
She was the youngest in this … relationship (whatever she'd call it) with Regina and yet, with the brunette looking intensely at her like she owned all the answers in the world, she knew it was her duty to make this right.

Only problem is that she only had a couple meaningful relationships in her life, she was more of a runner. But she couldn't do this now. She couldn't run from Regina. Not that she wanted to. Regina was Henry's mother too and they were bound by it.  
She wondered briefly how things would work out between the three of them if she decided to take Henry back to New York with her. Sure her parents lived here but she knew they still had hopes to return to the Enchanted Forest one day and start anew, namely have another baby.  
One they'd see grow and raise with confidence, not that Regina wasn't a threat anymore.  
She doubted as painful as it'd be, she wouldn't follow them there, she belonged to this century and what would a girl like her do in a castle surrounded by a land full of magical creatures.

She wondered how Regina had coped with the technology. Riding a horse was something; driving her 560 SL was another one. What about stoves? Cell phones? Even something as granted as shower, tap water, would have needed adjustment.

Her internal questioning must have lasted longer than she intended when she saw Regina walk past her in the direction of the bathroom.  
It then hit her that they were both still naked (Regina hadn't bothered to retrieve the bathrobe that had fallen during her outburst). And as much as she enjoyed the view of Regina's perfect body, she felt that they both needed to get some clothes on before anything else.

-"Forget it", Regina mumbled as she was about to shut the door behind her.

In a flash she'd be proud of if she wasn't so eager to reach her, Emma stopped short from blocking the door with her foot, extending her hand instead.  
Regina didn't fight and Emma knew that unconsciously maybe, the door wasn't totally closed between them.

Grabbing her tank top and underwear from the floor, she slipped in quick before tapping lightly on the bathroom's door. Regina might not have closed it but that didn't allow her to just barge in.

-"Regina", she called softly as she entered the room slowly.

The brunette's back was to her and she looked about to start the water in the shower.

-"Regina, we need to talk", she approached cautiously as Regina met her eyes, looking her up and down. Retrieving a silky red bathrobe from the hook behind the door, Emma offered it to her.  
-"Now you can't even bear the sight of me naked", Regina hissed as she snatched the garment from her extended hand and slipped in, tying the knot around her waist with rage. But the hurt in her eyes was palpable.  
-"I can watch you in all your naked glory for hours Regina. But that's distractful and you know as much as I do that we need to talk this out. I won't sit back and be a witness of your self destruction", she explained carefully.  
-"I'm not some sort of rocket which will self destruct Miss Swan", she smirked, her lips retreating to reveal pearly teeth, ready to bite.

If she had found Regina's 'manners' arousing last night, she was clearly pissed off now. She was trying to intimidate her, really? Although she had to admit, even without her 7 inches heels, she was intimidating.

-"Stop it Regina, and quit the Miss Swan already! It's just us here, no need to put up your little show of dominance!"

When Regina just glared at her, she went on.

-"You don't even realize when go all Evil Queen on people".  
-"I am the Evil Queen Miss … Emma … don't you see it? She's me and I'm her. We are two faces of the same coin. One can't exist without the other"  
-"You can and you are. Here you are Regina, not the Evil Queen. Com'on Regina, you might have been Regina Mills, the Evil Queen at some point but you're not anymore. You're total opposites if only you'd let this part of you go and give it a rest".  
-"I can't", Regina whispered sadly.  
-"You can but you don't want to", Emma countered.

She took an instant to look deep into Regina's eyes, fear and pain evident in them. Grabbing her hand she led them to the bed, where they sat side by side, their hands still linked.

For a long moment, neither said anything, both lost in thoughts.

When the silence became awkward, Emma spoke up softly.

-"Regina, tell me something … where do you see yourself in five or ten years?", she queried softly.

The woman sitting next to her shrugged but didn't reply.  
Emma gave her hand a squeeze but still, Regina didn't utter a word.

-"Ok … well … I see myself ….", but she was cut off by Regina  
-"The truth is I don't know Emma. I … I … don't want to be her anymore but she's a part of me. I …."  
-"But you already did Regina. Most of the time, the Evil Queen doesn't show up anymore. You … she … you only let her come to the front when you're scared".  
She turned to face Regina as she added: "You have nothing to fear Regina. The Evil Queen is not some crutch you need to live your life. You can do it on your own. All you have to do is trust yourself."  
-"I can't", came Regina's whisper.  
-"Of course you can. You're much stronger than you think. And you surely don't need her to go on with your life. Regina, the Evil Queen is a thing from your past. Another you. But she is not you. And you are certainly not her".  
-"It's not true Emma and you know it. Stop lying!", she accused her, eyes blazing.  
-"I'm not lying Regina and deep down you know it", she stated, ignoring Regina's aggressiveness.  
"The Evil Queen will always be a part of your past. She made you the woman you are today. We all have skeletons in our closet Regina. We all have things we are not very proud of. But take them for what they are Regina: things from the past".  
-"Easy for you to say. You don't have real skeletons there", she snarled.  
-"Maybe not but I do have things I'd rather forget about", she admitted.

Of course, stated like this and in comparison with Regina's past, she looked much more innocent. But all action had consequences and some of her did. The first would be abandoning Henry.

She stopped, letting this sink in. When she spoke minutes later, she decided to address something she let split earlier but just couldn't.

-"And for the record Regina", she paused, making sure she had her attention. "Don't ever again put me in the same bag as the town's citizens. _I_ do see you. Don't ever doubt it. I see the woman you are today. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here", she emphasized, giving her hand a squeeze before raising it to her lips, never breaking eyes contact.

Looking deep into Emma's shining eyes, Regina only saw truth there. Her shoulders slumped when she realized just what occurred in the room this morning: once more, she did hide behind the Evil Queen because it was safer than face it for what it was, a new beginning.

Because it was a first for her, not waking up alone in an empty bed. There was actually someone who was willing to share a bed with her without expecting anything.

_So ... what daya say? ... :)_


	6. Chapter 6

Next chapter in this fic... and we're half way through it.  
Don't hesitate to review, I love reading them (a word or two is enough), they help my muse :p

**CHAPTER 6  
**

-"I'm sorry Emma", she said long minutes later.  
"You're right, I use the Evil Queen as a protection, she shields me from the pain. When I let her out, I fear nothing. But I …", she stumbled upon her words before taking a couple calming breaths and went on "… when I'm her, I … don't feel anything".  
-"Is that what happened earlier?", Emma queried softly.

Now that Regina was actually talking, she pushed her luck.

But Regina didn't want to go there and Emma immediately saw the change in her posture, how her face hardened, her eyes cast away and the grip on her hand tightened.

Using her free hand to turn Regina's face towards her, she held her gaze and smiled:  
-"Regina don't. Don't go back to this dark place if it hurts you. Let it rest for now. But whenever you feel ready to face it and talk about it, come to me, ok?"

Regina's lips quivered as she fought new tears.  
Shaking her head, she tried to escape Emma's piercing eyes but the blond wasn't letting go of her.

-"No more running away Regina. No more hiding behind the Evil Queen's façade. We can face anything together. I won't walk away".  
-"I can't Emma. Please don't make me. Please", Regina begged her, tears running down her cheeks now.  
-"I will never force you into anything Regina. Ever. But I sure as hell know that talking about whatever triggered your breakdown earlier will help you".  
-"It won't, trust me", Regina responded sadly.  
-"Regina, I wasn't raised in a friendly environment …"  
-"Thanks to me", Regina cut sharply.  
-"Don't interrupt me, that's not the point. My foster's homes weren't all happy experiences so I know when a childhood or teenager's memory comes back and threaten to break you.  
As much as you want to forget them, they always lurk in the darkness.  
But confronting them will help".  
-"What if it's something I can't talk to you about? What if it's related to your family?"

When Emma gave her a blank look, she backpedaled.

-"Not that I'm saying it is", she lied but Emma saw right through her.  
-"You should remember I know when people lie Regina and you are right now"  
-"Am not"  
-"Yes you are but know this: with everything we've seen and lived, there isn't anything I can take"  
-"Believe me Emma, some truths are not to be told and meant to be laid to rest"  
-"Not when they are obviously hurting you and holding you back"  
-"It's not your duty to heal me, Emma Swan", Regina stated sharply.

Realizing she was nowhere to break Regina's resolve on sharing whatever traumatic experience she refused to share, she changed tactics.

-"Ok so if our relationship is too new to you to do this, what about Doctor Hopper?"  
-"He betrayed me in the past"  
-"He was trying to help you"  
-"That's a way to see it".

After a pause, Regina couldn't help but smile through the tears that kept falling. She barely noticed them.

-"Relationship? It is … is it how you see this?", she asked, totally surprised by Emma's heartfelt statement.  
-"Yes of course. I mean … don't you?"  
-"I … I haven't thought about it .. I mean … it's … I …"

Emma giggled and went to Regina's rescue before she'd hyperventilate.

-"Regina …. Regina ...", she called, effectively getting her attention.  
"Stop pressuring yourself here. For me, this night we spent together means something, and I won't deny I wish for many more. But if putting a label on it is too early, then we don't", she explained softly.  
-"No, I want that. It's just that … it'll have consequences. Are you sure you want to face them?"  
-"What do you mean? You know I'm not the sleeping around kind Regina. Whether we label it or not, it's with you I want to share my bed, no one else", she clarified.  
-"I'd like that", Regina replied softly and once again, Emma was touched by her shyness on this.

For a woman who had tortured, murdered and hurt so many people, she surely was insecure about this.

-"Ok then", Emma smiled broadly, glad that they were on the same page here.  
"And if by consequences you mean my parents, well I'm a big girl and I won't allow them to break this", Emma added.  
-"What about Henry? What do we tell him?", she queried, biting the inside of her cheek.  
-"Nothing", she answered but when she saw the hurt in Regina's eyes, she added quickly:  
"Not that I want to hide this from him. We'll tell him when necessity arises".  
-"You're already ashamed", Regina painfully whispered and Emma had to grip her hand tight to avoid her to flee.  
-"Not at all, he'll be thrilled the second he'll know. But I want to be selfish here and keep you all for myself", she grinned suggestively.  
"And I want us to enjoy the beginning of our relationship without the pressure of prying eyes. I want it to be about us, what we want. Not being polluted by good thinking nosey citizens, that's come soon enough".  
-"To be happy, live hidden?", Regina chuckled.  
-"For now yes. I want to be able to snuggle up to your arms whenever I feel it. I want to steal a kiss from those ridiculously beautiful lips when I've the urge", she said doing just that.

Emma smiled into a kiss that was chaste, soft and caring. And so much more.

When they parted, both breathless, they rested forehead against forehead, gazing down into each other's eyes.

-"That's if you want to … I don't have to decide here", Emma said, unsure all of a sudden. Regina had always been in charge of everything in her post: her life, her son, her town, and stripping her from it might unsettle her. Which wasn't the point.  
-"I .. I won't lie and tell you it'll be easy because I'm a control freak but I'm willing to try. If .. I … if you'd show me", she added shyly.  
-"Anything Regina. I won't let you down, we are in this together and we do as we please."  
-"Without prying eyes …"  
-"Or my parents …", she laughed, wiggling her eyebrows for good measure.

_So ... what daya say? ... :)_


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry about the delay, I usually update on friday but I totally forgot since we moved at work and I had to type this new chapter.  
Once more, I love every hit, follow and review ... keep them coming! :)

**CHAPTER 7  
**

Both women were exhausted, not physically but mentally. Waking up with such emotional roll coaster had drained them.  
Without really discussing it, they settled back in bed. For a moment, Emma was happy to lay beside Regina, their arms brushing.  
She didn't push her in any further discussion, just glad that they sorted a couple things out. She knew that entering a relationship with the former Major will have consequences but she didn't expect to have such a painful wake up after their first night together.

But again, had anything ever been simple since they met?

Turning on her side, she popped her head on her hand, looking down at Regina. Eyes on the bedroom ceiling, she was biting on her bottom lips, her forehead's vein pulsating, all sign that she was in deep thoughts.

- "What are you thinking about?", Emma queried softly as she moved a rebellious strand of hair out of Regina's eyes.  
- "Henry…your parents… everything that is against us", Regina replied softly, not looking at her.  
- "You worry too much money. Henry will be thrilled"  
- "You think so?", she asked, clearly doubtful.  
- "I know so. Having both his moms under the same room? A dream for him", she added with confidence.

Emma knew her son. He had nothing against same sex relationships and he loved his moms. There was nothing to worry about.  
"As for the Charming … well … they might not be super enthusiastic", she felt Regina stiffen "but that's their problem, not ours. They'll have another kid that'll focus all their attention. With whom I share my life with is none of their business".

Settling back in bed, she snuggled to Regina's side, her left hand coming to rest over Regina's belly.  
She didn't dare to hold her more than that, already very conscious of the tension coursing through the other woman body.

-"Breathe", she said as she poked her gently.  
-"Wha… what?"  
-"You'll turn green if you don't breathe", Emma elaborated as Regina exhaled a breath she didn't know she had held the second Emma snuggled to her side.

Smiling shamefully, Regina looked down, finally meeting Emma's eyes.

-"Sorry"  
-"It's okay", Emma smiled broadly, glad that Regina hadn't pushed her hand away.

She knew from last night that being touched and held was a big deal for Regina so she'd have to go slow on that matter.  
Not that there was any rush. As she told her, she was in this long term so she'll have plenty of time to show her she wouldn't hurt her.  
She knew there will be physical and emotional walls to overcome and bring down. And she was willing to, almost looking forward to it. Because she knew that behind those there was a wonderful human being who just needed to stop hiding.

The room fell silent for a moment and Emma was pretty sure they were both falling asleep when she felt Regina entwine their fingers.  
The gesture warmed her heart but what Regina said right then might make it explode from happiness.

-"Could you…would you mind… come closer?", there the words were out. If she didn't sound so unsecure, she might have been proud of herself for voicing them.

The words were barely out that she felt Emma snuggle closer, laying her head on her chest and drape a leg over hers.

Her breath caught at the sudden contact and she had to fight her natural instinct to flee. This was Emma and the woman didn't with to hurt her.  
If she did, she'd have fled in the middle of the night after she'd taken what she wanted from her.  
Her mind told her she still could especially now that she must have realized the heavy luggages she carried, but a little voice in her head told her Emma Swan was sincere in her feelings and she should, could, trust her.

Emma sighed with contentment as she settled more firmly against Regina.  
Below her hear, the brunette's heart was hammering and that made her smile. Not only because Regina's body was reacting to their position but because she was the one who asked for it.

They'd be all right she decided. No matter what happened, having Regina voice her wishes was a giant step forward.

- "You feel nice", she whispered as she felt Regina's heartbeat slow.  
- "I'm terrified", came Regina's heartfelt reply.  
- "I can feel it", Emma said softly "But you're doing great"  
- "You think so?"  
- "Yes"

As she felt Regina's hand crept around her waist, Emma Swann decided there was a change that needed to be made to their current position.

Freeing her hand from Regina's grasp, she sat upright enough to move aside the silk robe that covered Regina's shoulder.  
She settled back but instead of grabbing Regina's hand, she snaked her hand in the garment and laid it against Regina's bare side.

- "Your skin is softer that this bathrobe", she explained as Regina gave her a quizzical look.

Regina just smiled, too surprised by this to answer. But her body reacted faster as her own arm snaked around Emma's waist, bringing her closer. For good measure, she mimicked Emma's actions and her hand crept under the woman's white top, settling on bare warm skin, causing a groan of approval from the blond.

- "Much better", she whispered, feeling her cheeks redden.

If her own actions surprised her, Emma's almost unsettled her as she sat up in bed and removed her tank before working on the knot around Regina's waist. Untying it gently, she moved the tails aside to reveal olive's skin. Then she settled back over Regina, nestled her face in the brunette's neck, entwining their fingers and legs.

- "_That_ is much better", Emma giggled as she dropped an open mouthed kiss against Regina's pulse point, happy to received a soft whimper.  
- "You are evil dear", Regina whispered.  
- "Hmmm … you have no idea", Emma purred, happy of herself.

If this was how they'd work around Regina's insecurities, she was more than willing to do it that way.

Sighing with contentment, Regina Mills realized that the fear she had felt earlier was gone for the time being.  
She was glad to have Emma in her arms and for once, everything felt right. Her mind was at peace, there was no dark thoughts clouding it.  
She just felt great. And she had this beautiful woman nestled to her to thank for that.

- "We'll be okay", she said out loud a moment later.  
- "Hmmm .. Regina?", Emma queried sleepily, not moving an inch.  
- "We'll be okay", she repeated more strongly as a broad smile came to her lips.

Glancing down at the mass of blond hair, she kissed the top of Emma's head softly, enjoying the sensation wash over her body and mind.

_So ... what daya say? ... :)_


End file.
